“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ~ Joseph Campbell
I was quite brave as a young child, setting off into the wild yonder to explore meadows, ford streams, climb small hills. Danced around the room filled with adults with no feelings of shame. I loved to dance and wanted folks to see me twirling around to the groove.
Like I have mentioned before, the confinement and illogic of school worked hard to swap out confidence for fear. Principals, teachers and other students didn’t appreciate my free spirited ways and punished me accordingly. (Hello, Carrie!)
I had mash potatoes thrown in my face. I was stopped in the hallways on the way to the bus, and asked, “where do you think you are going?” I was sent into the corners for laughing.
So much absurdity in those crazy walls. Then work took over where school left off and I had to fight with everything I had left to maintain my own beautiful spirit.
I got got laid off several times. All well worth it to keep from being de-personalitied. I didn’t get jobs where I refused to answer “correctly” questions like “Where will you be in five years?” I used to say, “I’m a dynamic person, I can’t tell you where I’ll be a five years, but I hope I’ll be doing something amazing.” (Hook came for me.)
One of the worst fears is fear of getting in trouble at school or work. In college, I was called down to the Dean’s office for “Breaking into the Chapel” with this fun guy from my speech class. We wanted to climb to the tower and see the entire city. My college many years later asked alumni to write in about their best college moment. I wrote about that night. Surprisingly, they published it and my partner in “feel alive” crime contacted me. We had a great catch-up.
Yes, you may lose a job or something else, but ask yourself, “What do you gain by facing your fears?” Is it better than what I am losing?
Losing one’s full of life persona to me is the worst. Some folks never get it back. Others have to work hard to free themselves.
Perhaps, take a look at one of your fears, a small one, and see where you might give it a work-out! How does it feel afterwards?
~
Feel More Alive,
Giulietta