Stand Up For Something!

At the cusp of thirty, I began standing up for things. It started with a mid-level boss some of us women were having issues with. I volunteered to say something and I did. But when the big honcho said to those around me, “Is that true?” They stood frozen in place and confirmed nothing, not even contributing the nod of a head. It appeared to the higher ups I’d concocted the story. Ultimately, that act of perceived rogue behavior got me laid off.

Did I regret it?

No. But I did learn that a lot of folks will give you their support only in words. I truly think they meant well and wanted to go through with the idea of being courageous. Something, though, scared them from doing so. A fear of losing x, y or z, which, as I found out, does indeed happen, although far from the end of the world as often portrayed.

I did get another job right away. Not even three weeks later, which surprised me. When I first lost my job, I thought no one would ever hire me again. An irrational yet quite common fear. My new employer didn’t care one little bit I had been right-sized.

Who knew?

Since then I have been standing up for all sorts of things, sometimes the only one in the room. Other times with people all around me. When I actually found a group of like minded folks, I pleasantly discovered they had no problem remaining standing when I stood up to share our message. The more I stood up for things, the more others also stood up for things. A contagious phenomenon. Someone has to be first and I grew to like being that person. 

If you’ve ever had your archetypes done, then you may know that we all have one or two dominant ones. One of mine is the scout. It helped me understand why I did the things I did and why I still do the things I do. I like to be up ahead scouting out new ideas, landscapes, ways of looking at the world. Then I come back and share what I’ve found with the others. I am super happy challenging the status quo even if some folks do not want to hear it! In fact, about 9 years ago my dear friend Jim, now hanging out in Heaven with his buddies, began calling me Joan of Arc. Being part French, I immediately felt a kindred spirit with her and can’t believe an incredible young woman was horrifically put to death by a bunch of men for being brave enough to pursue her earthly mission in a divine way. “I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” 

Like Joan, I am not afraid either because I know why I must do it.
 

Perhaps, think about your own “standing up for something” track record. Do you do it with ease? Do you struggle around it? Do you regret not saying things or taking action when you had the chance? Or do you prefer to stay quiet? If your self-assessment comes up that you’d like to stand up more, start with some small steps like writing a letter to the editor. Once you have that under your bravery belt, try something even harder.

Surprisingly, I don’t see these programs around much anymore, but I took three or four assertiveness training seminars in Boston from these two amazing women instructors. They really taught me to speak up for myself right away. Am grateful that our biographies crossed paths at the same time!

Speaking of crossed biographies, below is a link to the terrific second place winning essay in the Feel More Alive writing contest. Barbaric Yawps And Other Signs Of Life by Noelle Foster. Her writing is gorgeous!

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